The Conclusion

In all honesty, I actually enjoyed doing the blog post every week and it was a great experience I must say. I remember when we were told to pick a topic that has to relate to ourselves, I thought that it was going to be easy. When I first began I started off talking about teenage relationships but I knew that wasn’t the right topic for me and I really didn’t really care for talking about teenage relationships anyways. But, eventually I did find the topic to talk about that has bothered me for basically my whole life which was homelessness.

By doing these blog posts I felt like I was getting things off my chest in a sense.It was basically like my dairy but for the public to read. It actually felt pretty good to let people know what I actually went through and what I’m still going through. By me doing this, it lets people know that everyone comes from different walks of life. Also by me doing this I got to read how others were going through similar situations as me and how I could relate to them as well. It let me know that I wasn’t the only person going through this situation.

By this being my first time ever blogging I do believe that I will continue to blog. English 112 has really helped me to find out answers that I’ve wanted to know all my life. This class pretty much pushed me to find out the answers and I really do appreciate this class more than ever. I will continue to blog about the current situation with my mother and keep people up to date but I also plan on starting a new topic that I’m interested in.

Where Does the Money Go?

This past weekend me and mother when grocery shopping for Easter Sunday Dinner at Shoppers. Every time we’re in that plaza there is always the same homeless guy standing on the curb by the street light with a sign that says “HOMELESS AND NEED MONEY”. It just breaks my heart to see someone struggling in life and having to beg people for money and have no place to live. Every time I see this man, my mom and I always give money to him and whoever else is homeless and asking for money because we know exactly how they feel and what they are going through.

The good thing about giving homeless people money is that they always say those three words that just touch your heart and make your day better “God Bless You”. When I hear those words I always feel like I’m doing the right thing. By me doing the right thing I know at the end something good is coming out of it.

After I gave the homeless man the money my mom and I were actually talking about what the homeless people do with their money. I believe most of the money we give to homeless people goes to food, clothing and other items they need to be honest. On the other hand my mother says most money that is given to the homeless goes to alcohol and their drug addiction if they had any, which is her opinion.      But I have to say there is some truth in it because not all homeless people use the money for what they need.

When I got home I searched “where does money go when you give it to a homeless person” I found a site called Debatewise. On this you see a whole bunch of people’s different opinions on why people should give people money and why people shouldn’t. It’s just interesting to me because what my mother and I both said where other people’s opinions as well.

All I know is at the end of the day I’m doing something positive for someone no matter what they spend their money on.

Back to Her Old Ways Perhaps?

Ever since my mother as started working her two jobs she has been complaining about how much she doesn’t want to be here anymore. I have no idea where all this is coming from at all of a sudden. Of course I can understand that you want your own house and everything but all that takes time. She should be glad that she’s in a stable environment where she can save her money up until she’s ready to make her move and get her own house. But, on the other hand who would want to live with their ex -husband anyways.

What I am really concerned about is about my mother’s drinking. I knew as soon as my mother got her jobs that she was going to start drinking again. I guess to her it’s a way to relieve stress but I know that is not the right way at all.

I feel like a soon as my mother starts drinking heavily she is going to go back to her old ways and start saying things that she really doesn’t mean because I know it is just the alcohol talking. When my mother drinks it’s like a whole different person. It just seems like the more she drinks the more I don’t want to be bothered with her at all. I just distance myself from my mother when she starts to drink and it should never have to be like that all when some starts drinking.

I really just want my mother to stay focused on her work and reach for her goals and not worry about alcohol at all. All that money that she spends on alcohol could be money she could be saving up for her new house, a new car, or anything that’s going to help her in the future. 

It Will Work Out For the Better

Come to find out from my mom searching and filling out job applications online and having interviews all last week, my mom was hired for two jobs this week. She didn’t tell anyone until this morning when she was actually going to one of her jobs which was surprising to everyone here. But, in all actuality this is a true blessing.  Now that my has two jobs she can start working towards her goals and start saving her money to invest in getting her own house and start a new chapter in her life.

The only problems that come along with my mother getting two jobs is that everybody’s schedule has to change to help out my mother and start taking her to work. Depending on my mother schedule someone is going to have to wake up early and take her to work which is going to kill us, especially me because I have class early in the morning.

Knowing that my mother doesn’t drive yet, I know for a fact when she starts to drive it is going to be more confrontations than ever before. The reason that I say that is because we only have one car and I know everybody is going to want to do something. I mean think about it there is five of us living in one house with one car. But, overall I just hope everything works out for the best and hope that my mother stays positive and continues to do better.  Everything will plan out for the better.

The Road Ahead

Since my mom has been living with us I have seen so much improvement in her and I couldn’t be any more proud of her. This past week I’ve been seeing my mother on the internet filling out job applications and going to job interviews and doing everything we’ve been wanting to see her to do for the past 12 years.

 My mom has also took part one of the driver’s test to get her driver’s license renewed which she passed, now all she has to do is take the driver’s test. Also my mother is trying to get into school and start a real career. This isn’t going to be an easy task but she’ll get through it. But, overall my mom is heading in a very positive direction and I’m very happy to say that. Thank God.

I almost feel as though my mother has stopped letting the death of her first born child get in the way of living her life like she’s supposed to be living her life. I mean, I could only imagine how hard it must have been to even loose a child but to stop living your life is an even harder thing to do, especially when you have three other children that are relying on her parenting and her guidance through life. I know that losing her first born child will always and forever be on her mind no matter what and I don’t doubt that for a second.

I just feel my mother has just overcome one of the hardest things to do in one’s life and knows that her first child is in a better place.  By me seeing my mother just go through what she has been through and to see her excel in her life has been really inspirational to me because I now understand that’s not something you can do over night and that it takes time. There’s a long road ahead of my mother and more to achieve.

Stress Free

Since my mom has been here I am able to see that there is a lot of stress relieved from everyone in this house but, most defiantly my mother. The day that my brother and I picked my mother up from the shelter, you can see my mom was just happy and stress free and you could actually see the joy in my mom’s face. Reason that is because she no longer had to worry about where she is going to be living at next and what’s the next shelter she’s going to be living at. who wouldn’t be happy and getting ready to go to a more stable environment.

We were most defiantly happy that my mom was coming to live us. Since my mother has come to live with us it was probably the best thing that could ever happened. I say that because now we are able to spend more time with her on the daily basis and don’t have to worry about driving back and forth to Maryland just to see her 1 to 2 times a week.

It has been about one or two weeks since my mother has moved in with us at my father’s house. To me, it doesn’t really bother me but on the other hand it’s really awkward and weird. The reason that I say it doesn’t really bother me at all is because I have gotten use to my mother and father being around each other in the last couple of weeks but not exactly in the same place. My mother would be in one part of the house and my father would be in another part of the house. It’s almost as though they still keep their distance from each other.

The reason it’s really awkward and weird for me is because I never grew up in a home with both my mother and father. It is almost as the cycle has reversed. I didn’t grow up with two parents in a household but, now since I’m older I have two parents in one household. Maybe it just takes time getting use to.

Can You Blame Her at All?

I finally figured out the reason why mom mother hasn’t been working or pushing herself to better than what she is today. On February 25, 1988 my mother had birthed my sister Raecole Deanee’ Garvey. But, she later passed 3 days before my mother’s birthday which would was June 3, 1988. After my sister passed my mother stopped working for the military a few months later. By my mother losing a child I felt like this pushed her to what she is today. But, can you blame her at all?

Although my mother did have 3 more of us after her loss of the first child, it still had a major effect on her and probably always will. But, can you blame her at all? I mean it is nothing like waiting 9 months for your first child to come and losing the baby 4 months later. This is really what hurt my mother the most.

Last week my mother and I sat down and had a good long conversation about why she was not working and what was really keeping her from working for all these years that have passed. She told by losing her first child it got her so depressed that she just wanted to give up on life which is why she stopped working for the military which is why she in the predicament she is in today and that is why she is homeless now. But, can you blame her at all?

Now that I think about it, by my mother basically giving up on life and not caring anymore I feel as though she gave on me and my brothers. We weren’t as stable as we were supposed to be or could have been. If my mother did have a job I believe we wouldn’t have had much of a financial struggle as we did. But, after losing a child can you blame her at all?

Here is a site called ThePain of Losing a Child Never Ends which relates to my mom.

What Is Her Next Move Going To Be?

A full week has gone past. Which means there is one less week my mom has at the shelter in Maryland until she has to pack up her belongings and leave. By my mom getting ready to leave, it is going to lead to the same problems that we had to worry about before like where she is going to stay or go after she leaves and money.

My dad has already decided that he’s not spending any money on a hotel. For her to be in a hotel for a whole week is about 300 dollars which is going to affect the household we’re living in whether it is the bills, rent or groceries and I completely understand where my father is coming from. All he wants for us and himself is to be stable and not have to worry about struggling again.

 My dad and my mom have been getting along very well lately, surprising to me, but it’s a good thing. So, since they have been getting along so well my dad decided that my mom should come and stay at the house with us because there is more than enough room for her here. By mom being at the house and staying with us we won’t have to worry about where she’s going to stay at plus there is less financial problems for my dad to worry  about.

Me knowing my mom, I knew she was going to say, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I think the only reason my mom said that is because maybe she doesn’t want to have to rely on my dad again and might just want to get through this situation alone or maybe just doesn’t want to be around her ex-husband 24/7. I just hope that my mom decides to move in with us and makes a decision soon.

I Remember That Day...

It really bothers me that till this day my mother is still homeless. My mother lives in a homeless shelter in Maryland. This was the only shelter that she could find a spot in that the Veterans office in D.C. could get her in just for temporarily. My mother has been living in this shelter for about four months and to me it seems like it has been forever. Now, her time being at the home shelter is coming to an end in about two more weeks.

 I remembered the date like it was yesterday November 27, 2011. That was the day that my brother and I dropped my mother off at the homeless shelter for the first time ever and it broke my heart completely. I never thought I’d have to witness my mother living in a shelter. The only good thing about my mother living in a shelter is that she had roof over her head and is not living in the streets, which is a complete blessing.

The sad part about it was that it had been the first that my mother and I had ever been apart from each other and I knew it was going to kill my mom just as much as it was killing me. I felt like a part of me was being taken away that’s how close my mother and I are. It was tough for me not being around my mom every day and not being able to see her like I was use to seeing her. I rarely ever get to see my mother now. I only see her about twice every two weeks or if that.

When I do get to see my mother we try to spend as much time as week can with each other. But I do know greater days will come and my mother will eventually get back on her feet and start taking care of business because I know that she hates being away from us all the time when she used to be around us every single minute of the day. She tells me this all the time.

The Sadness of Giving back to the Community

This past Saturday my mother and I went to go volunteer at a homeless shelter in D.C. to serve food to the homeless. As the homeless people began to come into the building I never thought I would see so many homeless people in my life fill up a whole cafeteria. I mean I have volunteered at a homeless shelter before but this place was extremely crowded of homeless people more than I have ever seen.

As I was there I happy because I was doing something constructive and giving back to the 

community, but when I saw all those homeless people hurrying in just to get a plate of food made me really sad. I looked at all these people and thought to myself, “That use to my family and I” and I know exactly what half these people are going through and dealing with this struggle.

What broke my heart the most while I was there is when we ran out of food to give to the homeless people. As more came in the door we had to say “We have no more food to serve.” It hurt me because every single person who walked in there just walked into the shelter just wanted a nice hot meal just like everyone else in there to get through the day. The food we served was probably the only meal that some of them actually at just to get the day. Just to imagine the homeless people who didn’t get a plate broke my heart.

What really caught my attention the most was that there were people of all ages, from little children to the elderly. I knew just by looking at the little children that they had no idea what was probably going on in their lives but I knew that they were going to be effected in the future because they had no stability in their lives at all. By looking at them and reminded me when my family and I had to eat at a homeless shelter before.

Sometimes in life you go through a struggle. 

The Sources

One of the potential sources for my final analysis paper I will be using is a website called National Alliance to END HOMELESSNESS. On this website I will be looking at a specific article that provides a variety of different information which is called, “The State of Homelessness In America 2012.”

On this website it provided me lots of data about whether the amount of homeless decreased on increased yearly. This also told me that most people whom are homeless are mainly Veterans from wars. Most of the people who were homeless that were veterans were unable to find a job because of the economy and there were not many jobs hiring. The reason I choose this source was because I relates in my mother. She is also a veteran and for her it was hard to find a job.

Another potential source that I will be using for my analysis paper is a website called Huff Post Education. On this website I will be looking at article called “Homeless Advocates Divided Over Bill Aimed at Helping Kid.” On this article it talks about a bill called McKinney- Vento Act of 1987 which makeds sure those children who are homeless have the same quality schooling as everyone else.

I choose this article because it related to me in a way. When I was homless I was held back in the 7^th grade. Being homeless put so much stress on me I stopped attending class and began to skip school. Eventually I began thinking to myself that I didn’t want to grow up and have no career at all in the future and what to be better than my own parents. Therefore I began to take the initiative  and go back to school doing everything possible because I wanted to make my family proud of me and not disappoint them,

References

“National Alliance to End Homelessness/” The State of Homelessness in America 2012, Jan 17, 2012. Sun. 12 Feb. 2012.

“Huff Post  Education.” Homeless Advocates Divided Over Bill Aimed at Helping Kid. Feb 11, 2012. Mon. 13, Feb. 2012.

HOMELESS HAS A NAME...

After living in a hotel for about seven months to eight months after being evicted from our first house, my father finally was able to find a house that was for rent and was affordable for my mother, my two brothers and I. My father was the family financial provider. Although my father and my mother were divorced my mother was unemployed and therefore my father paid the rent. Often times I wondered why mother did not have a job and did not help contribute to the family and help my father. Some days I would ask myself, “Why doesn’t my mother have a job like normal parents do? She not sick, so what is stopping her from working?”

After living in the house for about a year we were then evicted again for unpaid rent. This was the second time this has happened. I began to feel very embarrassed of the situation because it always felt like were always making a transition and moving. It was ridiculous because it seemed like I was going to a new school and having to meet new people all the time. I just wanted to be in a stable environment and not having to worry about where my family and I are going to have to move to next.

Eventually, after being evicted the second time, my brothers and I moved with my father and my mother found a spot in a shelter. When I moved with my father it was probably the most uncomfortable transition I ever had to make. The reason why it was so uncomfortable was because it was not home and I knew that living with my father was just temporary. By me knowing that it was just temporary until my mother got on her feet and found a job, it made me feel as though I was still homeless. The reason why I felt like this was probably because my father was really never around and was not in our lives like parent should be. 

Stability to Instability

The only place that ever felt like home was school. Every morning I would wake up in a hotel room eager to hurry up and catch the bus to go to school. The reason that I was so eager to go to school is because it was that one place where I could go and get my mind off things that were going on with my family. School was basically a safe zone for me, but only for 8 hours. Then it was back to the same problems again and back to the hotel.
School was also the one place where I could see my friends regularly after we were evicted. On the other hand the situation I was going through was an embarrassment. I didn’t know whether I should tell my friends or not. I felt like if I was to tell them they would judge me and my family. But then when I thought about it, and said to myself that’s life and things happen. If they were my real friends they would stay by my side no matter what. Eventually I did tell my friends and by my surprise some understood what I was going through and went through the same situation once just like me.


Being homeless made me realize that things happen for a reason. By my family sticking through these problems together it only brought us closer as a family and it defiantly made us stronger than ever. If this would have never happened who knows we my family would have ended up at. By everyone being able to help my family and I when we were homeless by giving us food and clothing when we needed it, as I got older I began to give back to the community in way. Around winter time I would volunteer at a homeless shelter and serve them food and hand out clothing. Being homeless changed the person that I am today.

It Happened...

The first time I was homeless changed my life forever. When I was about 9 years old a sheriff came to my house at 8 in the morning as I was heading out to school. The sheriff handed my mother a yellow paper and I had no idea what it was. A few weeks later I began seeing my mother bringing in empty boxes every day and packing up our belongings. I did approach my mom and ask why she was packing up our belongings and her exact words were, “We’re getting evicted”. Me being young I had no idea what that word even meant but my mother explained it to me.  Knowing that my mother did not have a job, I wondered where my two brothers and I would live and what we would do about school. Yes, my father was an option, but he didn’t have the time on his plate to look after us like my mother did because he had a job unlike my mom. As the days came dwindling down I noticed that my mother was drinking more than she ever did on a normal day. I thought maybe it could be because she was stressed and didn’t have a plan for us or maybe she was just trying to forget that any of this situation was even happening at all and was trying to drink her problems away. Either way it wasn’t the right way to go about the situation because when she did drink, my mother would have these crazy mood swings and would take all here anger out on us by yelling and screaming. But I kind of figured it was just the alcohol talking and she didn’t mean any of it. I felt bad for my mom because I could do nothing at all to help my mom to get through this situation nor could I help her financially. I felt as though I was letting my mother down unable to provide help. Any child would feel this way seeing their mother go through what she did with 3 children and struggling.