The Conclusion

In all honesty, I actually enjoyed doing the blog post every week and it was a great experience I must say. I remember when we were told to pick a topic that has to relate to ourselves, I thought that it was going to be easy. When I first began I started off talking about teenage relationships but I knew that wasn’t the right topic for me and I really didn’t really care for talking about teenage relationships anyways. But, eventually I did find the topic to talk about that has bothered me for basically my whole life which was homelessness.

By doing these blog posts I felt like I was getting things off my chest in a sense.It was basically like my dairy but for the public to read. It actually felt pretty good to let people know what I actually went through and what I’m still going through. By me doing this, it lets people know that everyone comes from different walks of life. Also by me doing this I got to read how others were going through similar situations as me and how I could relate to them as well. It let me know that I wasn’t the only person going through this situation.

By this being my first time ever blogging I do believe that I will continue to blog. English 112 has really helped me to find out answers that I’ve wanted to know all my life. This class pretty much pushed me to find out the answers and I really do appreciate this class more than ever. I will continue to blog about the current situation with my mother and keep people up to date but I also plan on starting a new topic that I’m interested in.

Where Does the Money Go?

This past weekend me and mother when grocery shopping for Easter Sunday Dinner at Shoppers. Every time we’re in that plaza there is always the same homeless guy standing on the curb by the street light with a sign that says “HOMELESS AND NEED MONEY”. It just breaks my heart to see someone struggling in life and having to beg people for money and have no place to live. Every time I see this man, my mom and I always give money to him and whoever else is homeless and asking for money because we know exactly how they feel and what they are going through.

The good thing about giving homeless people money is that they always say those three words that just touch your heart and make your day better “God Bless You”. When I hear those words I always feel like I’m doing the right thing. By me doing the right thing I know at the end something good is coming out of it.

After I gave the homeless man the money my mom and I were actually talking about what the homeless people do with their money. I believe most of the money we give to homeless people goes to food, clothing and other items they need to be honest. On the other hand my mother says most money that is given to the homeless goes to alcohol and their drug addiction if they had any, which is her opinion.      But I have to say there is some truth in it because not all homeless people use the money for what they need.

When I got home I searched “where does money go when you give it to a homeless person” I found a site called Debatewise. On this you see a whole bunch of people’s different opinions on why people should give people money and why people shouldn’t. It’s just interesting to me because what my mother and I both said where other people’s opinions as well.

All I know is at the end of the day I’m doing something positive for someone no matter what they spend their money on.

Back to Her Old Ways Perhaps?

Ever since my mother as started working her two jobs she has been complaining about how much she doesn’t want to be here anymore. I have no idea where all this is coming from at all of a sudden. Of course I can understand that you want your own house and everything but all that takes time. She should be glad that she’s in a stable environment where she can save her money up until she’s ready to make her move and get her own house. But, on the other hand who would want to live with their ex -husband anyways.

What I am really concerned about is about my mother’s drinking. I knew as soon as my mother got her jobs that she was going to start drinking again. I guess to her it’s a way to relieve stress but I know that is not the right way at all.

I feel like a soon as my mother starts drinking heavily she is going to go back to her old ways and start saying things that she really doesn’t mean because I know it is just the alcohol talking. When my mother drinks it’s like a whole different person. It just seems like the more she drinks the more I don’t want to be bothered with her at all. I just distance myself from my mother when she starts to drink and it should never have to be like that all when some starts drinking.

I really just want my mother to stay focused on her work and reach for her goals and not worry about alcohol at all. All that money that she spends on alcohol could be money she could be saving up for her new house, a new car, or anything that’s going to help her in the future. 

It Will Work Out For the Better

Come to find out from my mom searching and filling out job applications online and having interviews all last week, my mom was hired for two jobs this week. She didn’t tell anyone until this morning when she was actually going to one of her jobs which was surprising to everyone here. But, in all actuality this is a true blessing.  Now that my has two jobs she can start working towards her goals and start saving her money to invest in getting her own house and start a new chapter in her life.

The only problems that come along with my mother getting two jobs is that everybody’s schedule has to change to help out my mother and start taking her to work. Depending on my mother schedule someone is going to have to wake up early and take her to work which is going to kill us, especially me because I have class early in the morning.

Knowing that my mother doesn’t drive yet, I know for a fact when she starts to drive it is going to be more confrontations than ever before. The reason that I say that is because we only have one car and I know everybody is going to want to do something. I mean think about it there is five of us living in one house with one car. But, overall I just hope everything works out for the best and hope that my mother stays positive and continues to do better.  Everything will plan out for the better.

The Road Ahead

Since my mom has been living with us I have seen so much improvement in her and I couldn’t be any more proud of her. This past week I’ve been seeing my mother on the internet filling out job applications and going to job interviews and doing everything we’ve been wanting to see her to do for the past 12 years.

 My mom has also took part one of the driver’s test to get her driver’s license renewed which she passed, now all she has to do is take the driver’s test. Also my mother is trying to get into school and start a real career. This isn’t going to be an easy task but she’ll get through it. But, overall my mom is heading in a very positive direction and I’m very happy to say that. Thank God.

I almost feel as though my mother has stopped letting the death of her first born child get in the way of living her life like she’s supposed to be living her life. I mean, I could only imagine how hard it must have been to even loose a child but to stop living your life is an even harder thing to do, especially when you have three other children that are relying on her parenting and her guidance through life. I know that losing her first born child will always and forever be on her mind no matter what and I don’t doubt that for a second.

I just feel my mother has just overcome one of the hardest things to do in one’s life and knows that her first child is in a better place.  By me seeing my mother just go through what she has been through and to see her excel in her life has been really inspirational to me because I now understand that’s not something you can do over night and that it takes time. There’s a long road ahead of my mother and more to achieve.

Stress Free

Since my mom has been here I am able to see that there is a lot of stress relieved from everyone in this house but, most defiantly my mother. The day that my brother and I picked my mother up from the shelter, you can see my mom was just happy and stress free and you could actually see the joy in my mom’s face. Reason that is because she no longer had to worry about where she is going to be living at next and what’s the next shelter she’s going to be living at. who wouldn’t be happy and getting ready to go to a more stable environment.

We were most defiantly happy that my mom was coming to live us. Since my mother has come to live with us it was probably the best thing that could ever happened. I say that because now we are able to spend more time with her on the daily basis and don’t have to worry about driving back and forth to Maryland just to see her 1 to 2 times a week.

It has been about one or two weeks since my mother has moved in with us at my father’s house. To me, it doesn’t really bother me but on the other hand it’s really awkward and weird. The reason that I say it doesn’t really bother me at all is because I have gotten use to my mother and father being around each other in the last couple of weeks but not exactly in the same place. My mother would be in one part of the house and my father would be in another part of the house. It’s almost as though they still keep their distance from each other.

The reason it’s really awkward and weird for me is because I never grew up in a home with both my mother and father. It is almost as the cycle has reversed. I didn’t grow up with two parents in a household but, now since I’m older I have two parents in one household. Maybe it just takes time getting use to.

Can You Blame Her at All?

I finally figured out the reason why mom mother hasn’t been working or pushing herself to better than what she is today. On February 25, 1988 my mother had birthed my sister Raecole Deanee’ Garvey. But, she later passed 3 days before my mother’s birthday which would was June 3, 1988. After my sister passed my mother stopped working for the military a few months later. By my mother losing a child I felt like this pushed her to what she is today. But, can you blame her at all?

Although my mother did have 3 more of us after her loss of the first child, it still had a major effect on her and probably always will. But, can you blame her at all? I mean it is nothing like waiting 9 months for your first child to come and losing the baby 4 months later. This is really what hurt my mother the most.

Last week my mother and I sat down and had a good long conversation about why she was not working and what was really keeping her from working for all these years that have passed. She told by losing her first child it got her so depressed that she just wanted to give up on life which is why she stopped working for the military which is why she in the predicament she is in today and that is why she is homeless now. But, can you blame her at all?

Now that I think about it, by my mother basically giving up on life and not caring anymore I feel as though she gave on me and my brothers. We weren’t as stable as we were supposed to be or could have been. If my mother did have a job I believe we wouldn’t have had much of a financial struggle as we did. But, after losing a child can you blame her at all?

Here is a site called ThePain of Losing a Child Never Ends which relates to my mom.